Essay,  Poema

Anthropomorphic A-Z

AAnt are the starting letters of Anthropos. Aren’t we just like ants? The ground dwellers in a society of workers and warriors with at fat queen in her chamber perpetuously fed with goodies in order for her to lay eggs.

What goes on above grass level is too big to conceive. Once a while a rain of piss pours from the skye, and we get equally pissed as a response where after we start to attack one another in the belief, that some other nation of ants is using their ant piss on us and never identifying the source for the event and the reason for our reactions. 

Baboons socialize by scratching each others backs. Baboon socializing is present day substitute for real conversations on important matters. We scratch each other with stupid one liners of pseudo-opinions. Someone expressed a piece of dumb prejudice about, say, the American president, and all the others tune into the choir in the echo chamber with their one liners about, say, the American president without knowing anything factual about the prejudice object.

If you scratch my back and other nice places-you-know-where, and then you scratch MeeToo you-know-where, we will together in the flock of baboons feel good and then: We don’t have to deal with reality. We had our four minutes of hatred, we confirmed our common lack of ability to understand the reality by repeating a ritual of pretending the opposite. We saved our world another day and gained access the good company of haters, believers and scratch-my-back’ers.

Camels have hard time getting through a needles eye. And why would they bother with that? Let the rich and the powerful bother.

Get it right here. Wealth and power does not disqualify a person, probably the opposite. It’s the clinging onto and the identification with wealth, the obsession of having more and most importantly the envy of other peoples wealth and lives and thrives that disqualifies. In that sense, socialism as an ideology of envy is the perfect description of the camels dilemma. The believer will never pass the needles eye and never reach his Utopia. And it was never meant to be, but that is the larger story.

Dolphins dancing for you in the Mediterranian or the Pacific. But I live in Denmark, Scandinavia, so we don’t have these wonderful creatures here? Wrong, we do have them. Not the slim types with the long snout jumping up in the air from the water. We have the even so lovely porpoise whale, fat little dolphins well suited for colder waters. 

They are everywhere in the Danish oceans. I saw a mother and her child swimming only 20 meters from the shore one sunny day on the island of Samsø. And why is it, that this encounter sticks to my mind forever and makes me happy just by the thought of it?

Elephants will remember you as long as they live. And they live for a hundred years. That’s a long time to be remembered, and you should be careful, if you did something bad to this big creature – it will step with five tons on you, tusk you and trunk you. 

Humans have two problems with memory. Either they remember too much or too little. Ethnic or national traumas especially defeats will be remembered for at thousand years and can be triggered into wars, if bad people want this to happen. Political memory is more like cultural Alzheimer – people have forgotten how they were cheated and betrayed by bad people just months ago.

Fish do not know, that they are swimming in water. It’s all around them, they breathe it, drink it, maneouvre it, piss it, look and hear through it. They probably smell it too. But they don’t know what it is. 

If someone hooked them and pulled them out of the water, they would know, that this is definitely NOT it. Aren’t we like fish? We know nothing else. Thousands of years of slavery to the Empire. Wars as long as anyone can recall. If someone some day offered us to be pulled out of slavery, we would choose to stay in the muddy waters in stead of a new and fresh element.

Goose watches. They will watch the sky and the ground with eyes and ears stretched up and out with their long necks. If they sense, that an enemy is approaching, they will blow their horns of goosy sound. Geese are the whistleblowers of birds.

Humans find them stupid, annoying or aggressive. They like to eat them, though. We could actually learn something. We do not cry out before it is too late. We do not warn or defend our flocks but let foxes and wolves eat our fellow men and families. 

Honey Bee lives peacefully in his own world abiding the law of the Universe: Do not do any harm unless harm is done to you. How many people do you know, who got stung by a bee? It doesn’t really care about you, it cares about sucking the sweet dust and returning to the hive with its reward. It is rewarded by nature for letting all the flowers and plants exist. Without the bees, they would disappear.

The sacred and generous bee even rewards nature twice with its sweet honey and its health. How do we reward the sacred bee? By poisoning with pesticides and jamming with cell towers and dirty electricity. They may not be here – bee here tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow we may not be either.

Immortal Jellyfish do not dye. Instead of dying they go back and become their own embryo called a polyp once again. From this hybernation it will return as a jellyfish. I will only die if eaten by another seagoing creature by being on its menu. Like a penguin, surprise!

The oldest dream of humans have been immortality. Depending on school of thought, the dream is illusory since the human soul is already immortal. In the age of materialism, we want our body to be immortal too. Then according another school, it is due to a genetic defect, that was implanted sometime in the past by ‘the creator’. Some old billionaire fools will let their bodies be frozen down in order for future science to reawake them. And why-the-hell would a soul want to return to a defrosted half rotten body any time in a dystopian future? Become a Buddhist or a Hindu for Gods sake, if you are into immortality, you pathetic old scoundrels. Oh, but there is one problem here: You would have to deal with your bad karma.

Jaguar hunts for a purpose of survival as part of natures eco system. It has its place and without preying animals, the jungle would swim over with its prey. Weak members of species would multiply. The jaguar kills with mercy. Once down, its prey is dead. A jaguar may fight another jaguar for territorial reasons but never kill it.

Humans have hunted the same way. But humans have moreover killed for envy, for lust and fun, or hatred, for revenge and for the greed of power over others. The unwritten pact between the hunter and their game in nature has been broken. This broken pact is called a sin and is considered a crime. To get away with it protected by stolen power is not the same as escaping universal repercussion.

Koala, Koala I wish I was a Koala bear sitting all day long in my tree just munching away away on the intoxicating eucalyptus leaves – actually bit of a boring menu day in day out. But you get stoned from them. Eat, shit and sleep one day, eat shit and sleep the next day. No worries except for some pesky predators once in a while.

But then comes the tourists, and she cries omg he’s so cuuute! – you idiot, I’m a girl – and picks me up with her stinky perfume and wants to kiss me and slobbers all over my new cleaned fur, and her constant omg-omg and her nasty friends. I think I might prefer to be a grizzly bear instead. I decided to poop on her, which made her go yuck, and she let me run off in slow motion.

Lemur, strange catlike creature with a long tail and white face and yellow staring eyes, roaming around in trees at night, spirit of the dead is its name. It is found on two continents seperated by a large ocean – and for a reason.

You will find it in Madagascar, Africa and in India. The Lemur lived back then in Lemuria. Oceanographers have recognized, that there is a vast sunken land mass, a large island or even a continent in the Indian Ocean, that would have been above water level in the times before the flood. Not a legend or a myth, but a fact. The flood was the melting of the ice masses in the Northern hemishpere. You don’t have to newage-guess where this mysterious land was, it was there. And the lemur chose to escape in both directions.

Mouse. They say quiet as a mouse, but that is far from true. They are quite noisy little creatures, scraping around with their little clawy feet, throwing around with stuff in the waste bin to get the goodies, chewing loudly on their rewards. 

They are called house mouse, eventually. I once caught one, that identified with this name, threw him in the front box of my bicycle and drowe him to the village border. Before he was released, I told him: There is no such species as a house mouse. There are forrest mice, field mice and even flying mice, but just because you think, that a house would be nice for mice on permanent free pension with lovely scraps lying around and no pesky predators and with permission to poop all over this doesn’t make you a house mouse. So now you have the chance of reconnecting to your natural habitat. And if you prefer to take the bus, it’s only nine kilometers away, and you should be there in about … three days with your speed. Watch out for cats, owls, hawks, foxes and car wheels. Enjoy.

Newfoundland is a huge normally black, furry dog weighing up to 150lbs. One of the few dogs with water resistant coat, which makes it the perfect life saving dog at beaches with stupid tourists getting lost in the water. Problem: too heavy fur for warmer climates.

But where did it come from, and how did it end up in Newfoundland and the rest of Canada, which gave its name? The Vikings brought it. Erik the Red went between Norway and Iceland before he was expelled and discovered Greenland. His son Leif the Happy sailed from Greenland to Vinland, the land of wild wine trees, which was somewhere between Newfoundland and New England. Onboard the ships were a bunch of black, furry dogs. 

Octopus, the smartest animal of the ocean. It is able to pretend to be a rock to fool its enemies and catch its prey. It is able to ‘read’ the texture of its environment to change its skin. It knows stuff, it adapts to situations, it solves problems, it tricks you.

Undeservingly this wonderful, intelligent invertebrate creature gave rise to the image of the Global Nefarious Octopus, a multi armed creature of power sucking the life force of the whole planet and its population. The secret Octagon Knighthood of Switzerland, the Crown, the Brotherhood of the Black Sun, The Dragon Families Society, the Committee of 300, The World Economic Forum, The Cabal (Chabad), just a few of the many-many names for the arms of the Nefarious Octopus, the old enemy of humanity. It even gave name to a James Bond movie.

Pig, how it had to bear with humans abusing its name for description of filth. The pig is not a filthy animal, it is a forrestial animal using its intelligent snout to dig into the ground. And yes, it loves to roll around in mud, and so do elephants to clean their wrincled skin, and we don’t call them dirty animals. Remember, people pay a lot of money to go to mud bath sanatories to heal themselves for skin diseases. We don’t call the filthy pigs either.

Muslims call the pig an unclean animal forbidden to eat. Well sorry, the largest Muslim community on the Earths is the Indonesian. Do you think they eat pigs on the islands for forest pigs? Hindus don’t eat pigs either. I have a theory for why not. They know that pigs are the most intelligent animals at large. They are more similar to human beings than apes – claimed by Darwinists to be our ancestors. You don’t eat your own brother.

I’ll tell you what. The real ‘pigs’ in the derogative sense is the pig farming industry, that put pigs into prison farms with 1 m2 per pig, totally deprived of their natural habitat = the forest, cut off their sensitive tail, fill them with GMO food and antibiotics, and pump them with salt water after slaughter. 

Quetzal. Ever heard of the Quetzal Bird? It is a most colorful, medium size bird living in South America. Its tail can be as long as 1 meter.

I has its name from the mythical figure, Quetzalquatl, the feathered snake, the white alien god of the Mesoamericans. Based the folklore, Quetzalcoatl is the one who created the world and all of mankind, and was regarded as the god of wind and rain. He is also known for structuring art and culture and was looked upon as the organizer of society. 

Rain Deer, lovely antler of the North. Domestic animal of the Sami people of Northern Scandinavia and the nomadic tribes of Northern Russia and Sibiria. Also common among the tribes of Northern Canada.

When the ice withdraw 11.500 years ago in Europe, the rain deer migrated north. The hunters of rain deer migrated with them. The hunters later decided to domesticate them. Or should we say: the hunters domesticated themselves.

Scorpion – and what a mythical creature finding its place into the Zodiac. Some say, that someone wanted the snake to disappear, so it was replaced by a scorpion.

A scorpion sat on the side of a lake. A frog observed it from the water. Hey frog, help me across the lake. No, ’cause you will sting me. I’ll make an excuse for you today, I promise you not to sting. On the other side of the lake the scorpion stung the frog and jumped ashore. Why did you sting me, you made a promise? That is my nature, and nature overrides any promise.

Tortoise – and imagine spending your whole life in a bullet proof armor. You come to live a long and slow life, but you will have to carry your own prison around.

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A hare called Achilleus and a tortoise decided to do a race in a field. The hare runs 100 meter and the tortoise, the turtle crawls 10 meter. The proportion stays as a constant. However fast the hare runs, it will never win the race – according to Zenons paradox.

U – rare letter for animals. U for unusual, unknown or unique. Maybe the Orang Utang, the forest man would qualify. Wait, I know – the Unicorn.

I’ll tell you a story. Historians have wondered, why Ghengis Khan never conquered and looted India, the wealthiest country of Asia. The legends tells, that he one day encountered a unicorn, that told him to return to Mongolia – and therefore not go into India. The truth is possibly different. The Indian rulers were wiser than their neighbors that ALL underestimated, despised and grossly insulted Ghengis Khan. The Indians never insulted him and did not give asylum to one of his enemies. All his wars and conquests were out of revenge for insults. Unlike rulers of East and West, he was a man of principles and did not care for wealth.

Vulture, the mega scavenger of the mountains and the deserts. They are normally considered ugly creatures due to their naked neck and head – like a predator turkey of some sort.

Not so with the bearded vulture, a majestic creature from the Alps and the Pyrenees of France/Spain to the Himalayas and down to South Africa. Wing span 2.8 meters. I Spain it is called the Quebrantahuesos, the bone crusher. It takes its prey and drops it from great height and crushes its bones on a flat rock. It has no fear of human beings. It will sit on its stone at stare you down.

Wolf – it seems to be the old enemy and nightmare of humans. And why is this so? Is it that dangerous, and does it kill people at will? It does have a bite that is four times as strong as a dog, but the answer is no.

The reason why, it has become this mythical and fierce creature is, that it is a serious competitor to human beings. It hunts more intelligent in packs as a group of human hunters, it is faster and more powerful. Man has been envious. We should remember, though, that all dog races are descendants of the wolf.

  • the mysterious unseen animal. Who ever heard about the X-Ray Tetra Fish, the Xanthus’s Hummingbird, the Xenarthra Sloth, the Xenops Bird or the Xerus Ground Squirrel?

What about the Chupacabra, the goat sucker? Or the the Bigfoot, the Sasquatch, the Yeti or the Menk from the Ural Mountains? What about the Loch Ness monster or its equivalent, the Vishapakars of the Armenian-Turkish Lake Van? What about the Moth Man seen in West Virginia, USA?

Yak also called the grunting ox due to its sounds. It can only thrive at high altitude in cold climate and can stand temperatures down to – 40 degrees. A wild yak bull can weigh 900 kilo.

Yak milk can be considered super food and has kept the tribes of the Himalayas alive for thousand of years. The first yak was probably domesticated by Mongolians 10.000 years go. When a yak dies of natural causes, its bones find new life as jewelry and tent fastenings per Buddhist teachings.

Zoo Animals are animals, that should be roaming in open spaces somewhere in their natural habitat.

You may consider, though, whether the zoo animal is at the inner side of the cage or at the outer.

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